Biblical Helpmeet

Do I Own A Tongue of Virtue?

2012-02-01T10:44:00.000-08:00

Picking up where we left off in our study of the character qualities of the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31, we find ourselves at verse 26 of Proverbs 31….

Trait # 17: Proverbs 31:26 “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”

I think there are two key words in this short verse…“openeth” and “kindness”. Both are actions that are noticeable and seen by others.

So many times, women can “open” their mouths, but what is coming out of it can be anything, but kind. A virtuous woman will study the Word of God and good books about the Word of God, in order to share wisdom and knowledge with other women and girls in her life. That study of God’s Word will pour a blessing from her tongue, onto her own husband and he too, will be blessed by her Godly spirit.

How many times have you been blessed by a friend who shared with you a word “fitly spoken” at just the right moment? I had that happen to me, this very day, with a phone call from someone who happened to thank me for all I do in the work of our Lord. What made it all the more precious to my heart, was that it came from a man who had taken notice and just wanted to encourage me. His kind words were almost more than I could handle. I try not to take too seriously the compliments (nor criticisms) from people. Either one can be detrimental to our thinking and vision if we put too much stock in what is said. But his kind words did much to encourage my heart.

When you study God, through His Word, a quiet, peaceful confidence comes over your spirit. People notice. It affects how you live and how you talk. People, who are not walking with Christ and under the control of the Holy Spirit, will find this kind of woman a bit intimidating. Why would a woman who “openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness”, be seen as intimidating?

It’s what she reveals when she opens her mouth that is intimidating.

A woman who studies God and His Word will have wisdom that is uncommon. That in itself can be intimidating to people who are walking according to the dictates of their own flesh. Her Biblical wisdom will produce the kindness that pours from her tongue and the wisdom gleaned from thinking God’s thoughts will be a strength and blessing to her husband. Blessing others will become automatic!

Do you want to be a virtuous kind of woman, who has wisdom to speak from a kind tongue?

Then we must study God’s Word in order to have the wisdom we need, to share helpful information in an agreeable, pleasant and honest manner.

It’s OK to open your mouth in order to help others. It’s what comes out of the mouth that distinguishes a “word fitly spoken” in wisdom, or a tongue filled with self and worldly philosophy.

Which one do you bless your husband with?

An HGTV Appetite - On A Thrift Shop Budget

2012-01-03T09:36:00.000-08:00

Have you ever browsed through a magazine, department store or web site and found yourself "wishing"? Because we are so blessed in our country with material abundance, it's very easy to become dissatisfied with just our basic needs being supplied. Instead of having a comfortable chair to sit in, we soon feel the need to have a whole set of furniture that matches that one, comfortable chair. More is perceived as better and having our "satisfaction guaranteed" has now become an expected right.

But the Bible says, "Let your conversation be without covetousness: and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."

The opulence of our culture has not produced a happier society. If anything…we are less content in our materialism and people turn to stimulants of every kind to boost their "happiness endorphins"! For a Godly wife and keeper of the home, be careful to keep a close track of where your material "appetite" is leading you. Did you know that you can become addicted to shopping? Just browsing through a catalog or strolling the aisles of your favorite store, may be hazardous to your family's financial health! Just because "stuff" is available doesn't mean it is good for us or even necessary for life and happiness.

Several years ago, I did a personal experiment with myself. I've never been a window shopper or one who walks through a mall just for the fun of it. I've always been a ---- go get what you need and get out, kind of shopper. At the time, I found that I was enjoying more and more, the programming of HGTV…better known as Home and Garden Television. My husband facetiously refers to it as, "As The Paint Dries" channel. He doesn't necessarily see any value in the programs offered there. I like it and justified my watching it from time to time, as educational in nature. I did learn a lot each time I watched it, but over the months I noticed something else happening to me.

My eye was affecting my heart.

Desires to change things in my home, redo the old and bring in something new, was growing in my heart! The problem? I couldn't afford to do anything about it at the time. Frustration and dissatisfaction began to creep in. Don't get me wrong. There is a place in life for making needed changes in our homes and for learning how to decorate, how to put colors together and how to place furniture in a floor plan.

But that can't be what I'm all about or what I live for!

I'm a wife who must live within a budget provided by my hardworking husband and I am not free to buy whatever my eyes see or my heart desires. There are times when even the smallest purchase can be wrong…because----you can't afford it! Accept the fact that you must live on a thrift store budget. Be content in that! There may be some months when you can't even afford to shop on a thrift store budget! Will you still be happy?  Can you still be happy?

Contentment comes from within and as Biblical helpmeets, it is our responsibility to nurture a contented heart. Let it be seen and felt by your husband and children. Set your eyes and your heart on the eternal… those things that will really last forever.

Lamentations 3:51 "Mine eye affecteth mine heart because of all the daughters of my city."

What the prophet Jeremiah was seeing, in the destruction of the city of Jerusalem, was having a profound affect on his feelings. He was in great sorrow of heart. We need to be careful about the things our eyes see! Because what we see does affect our emotions and desires, and influences what we think.    Proverbs 23:7 states this to be true.

"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…"

Be content with your Thrift Store lifestyle and count your blessings if the Lord gives you more!

Peace in My Heart - Brought a Smile to My Face

2011-11-01T09:09:00.000-07:00

Written By Laurie MacArthur

As young brides just starting out, we sometimes have unrealistic dreams of what marriage should be. We can also have unrealistic expectations for our husbands which will surely lead to disappointment if we continue thinking that way. Such was the case for this very young bride. After vowing to love and honor my man, disillusionment quickly set in with the harsh realities of life and in my pride I blamed my problems on the one closest to me. Feeling sorry for myself, I learned to play the martyr. I listened to the preaching, confirming all of my husband’s faults, adding to the downward dark spiral of my thoughts. It wasn’t until I began to truly seek the Lord that there was any real hope in my life or my marriage.

When I got serious with God, He showed me the needs of my heart. The biggest need was a relationship with Him based on the truth of Scripture. It took months of soul searching, and when I finally gave up my will for His, my perspective began to change. I made a determination to listen to the preaching for myself because I needed it. Ever so slowly and gently, God began a work in my heart.

One change has been a long time in coming and is something that I have to continually work on. Many years of selfish, poor me thinking can give one a sour disposition. I determined some time ago to “tell my face” that it was happy and to share a smile more often with my best friend- my husband. I want him to see peace, joy, and contentment in my eyes. It encourages and shows him that he is “the man”, and lets him know that all is well. That is important for both of us.

Those determinations helped tremendously when we found ourselves in a grave, life threatening situation recently. Seeing my husband teetering on the brink of death was not easy, but having practiced the contented smile was definitely a huge advantage. Before approaching his hospital room each day, I determined to fix a smile on my face, and breathe a prayer, as I walked confidently to his side to share some of the strength that God had given me through the power of the Word and the prayers of the saints. My husband needed a calm, spiritually steadfast wife at his bedside. Of course, without the Lord, there would be no reason to smile in the first place! What a blessing it was to see the Lord bring joy and peace out of uncertainty and calamity. His peace put a smile on my face!

Aspiring To Be A Virtuous Woman

2011-10-02T19:16:00.001-07:00

Written by Sheryl Shaffer

Last month we began looking at the character qualities of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31. Our assignment for the month was to evaluate our own character along side this woman after God’s own heart.

Did you make an effort to practice the traits that made this Proverbs 31 woman virtuous? Several mentioned to me that they copied these traits off and put them in their Bible so that they could go over them each day during their devotion time. That is the thinking of a woman who is truly aspiring to be a Biblically thinking woman!

Let’s talk about some more of these qualities...

Trait #8: “She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.” Proverbs 31:17

This verse is not challenging a woman to hit the gym or enroll in an aerobics class! The reason women need the gym or aerobics, is because we don’t work like women once had to work. We are no longer washing our clothes on a rock or by hand in a tub. Thus, we are not strengthening our arms with physical labor. The Proverbs 31 woman was a hard worker and that hard work made her strong. 21st century women need to get off the couch and get back to doing housework, gardening and the daily chores that will build strength. A good woman is willing to do this.

Trait #9: “She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.”

This competent woman takes much stock of her work. She perceives whether it is done right or whether something needs to be improved. She is not satisfied with the mediocre. What a dependable sense of endurance this lady has!

Trait #10: “She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.”

This monotonous task is nothing short of boring over the long haul. This was once the way women worked for hours on end. This hard working woman was willing to do the same chores....over and over again. Are you? Do your dishes sit beside the sink for several days because you don’t feel like doing them? You are not a virtuous woman.

Trait #11: “She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.”

Part of what drives this woman to work so hard, is the generous, compassionate spirit that she possesses. Her benevolence is seen and felt as she reacts to the distresses and sufferings of others. A woman who can show mercy and compassion, and give to those in need, despite what they have done or have not done to her, is truly a virtuous woman. What a reflection of the Heavenly Father, compassion and mercy are! Oh, to always be that kind of woman....

Trait #12: “She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.”

Because she has planned so well every area of life for herself and her family, she is not at all afraid of sudden changes in plans or harsh circumstances that may arise. She is already prepared! She is a true visionary! What a novel idea, planning ahead is! A Godly woman will have no need to panic if she has made preparation for the unexpected company or the surprise unplanned event. She is not afraid. What a comfort to the whole family she is!

Trait #13: “She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.”

This is one area that is so lost in our culture. It is barely cost efficient anymore to sew. The price of fabric has gone through the roof. Yet, if you really want to dress modestly, crafting your own clothing is a real asset.

This woman is skilled in sewing. She is a proficient decorator of her home by making beautiful wall and bed coverings as well as beautiful clothing for herself and her family. What a woman! I envision her as a real beauty here. Obviously there is no frumpiness to this virtuous woman!

Trait #14: “Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.”

Have you ever seen a wife who reflects badly upon her good husband? She can hold him back from being used of God in positions of spiritual leadership....just because of her personal testimony or manner of life. That is a serious condemnation on a Christian woman. A Godly woman will live in such a way that her husband excels and has the time to be a ruler. His well kept home will reflect well on her but it also makes him look good too! Get busy ladies....Your husband is known by you.

Trait #15: “She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchants.”

Here she goes again...What an entrepreneur she is! She finds ways to stay at home and yet help her husband financially. There are many times when a man needs the extra help in the financial support of the family. Is there anything you can do to bring in a few extra dollars and still remain the keeper of the home? I have seen many women learn a craft, make jewelry, make breads, cookies and cakes or do catering, to bring in extra money for the family budget. This woman is organized and manages things well. She looks for ways to relieve the financial burden her husband carries.

Do you have a picture yet, of just how priceless and rare this kind of woman is? Yet, she is what we are all to be striving for. She is not super woman or super saint. She is super dedicated and willing, to being a spiritually minded wife and mother. A woman...after God’s own heart.

Traits of a Biblical Woman

2011-09-01T12:28:00.000-07:00

Written by Sheryl Shaffer

So you aspire to be a Proverbs 31 woman? How well do you know her? How do you envision this good woman? Let's evaluate ourselves against her character qualities.

Trait #1 : "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." Proverbs 31:10 She is obviously seen as extremely rare because there are not many like her. She is far above the usual. Her uniqueness makes her a precious possession to her husband. Is this uncommon trait unique to you?

Trait #2 : "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil." Proverbs 31:11 This trustworthy lady is so reliable, honest and dependable that she would never say or do anything dishonorable behind her husband's back. What a blessed man it is who can safely trust in this faithful, chaste wife. She is far removed from today's modern, cell phone bound, desperate housewife scenario.

Trait #3 : "She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:12
What a loyal, faithful, constant helpmeet this dear woman is to her husband. Her genuine and enduring love for her man is not the hot one day and cold the next, variety. She does him good all the time.

Trait #4 : "She seeketh wool and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands." Proverbs 31:13 This industrious, busy woman is not a lazy female! This willing worker looks for tasks to accomplish that will benefit her family. She is the picture of diligence all wrapped up in a willing spirit.

Trait #5 : "She is like the merchant's ships; she bringeth her food from afar." Proverbs 31:14 This doesn't mean that she is necessarily out running around garage sales and discount stores with her gal pals all the time, but it does mean that she is a frugal, prudent, capable and wise shopper! Her industrious nature is not wasteful with her time or her husband's money. She is definitely looking for a bargain, but she is doing it in a wise and timely way.

Trait #6 : "She riseth also, while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her husband, and a portion to her maidens." Proverbs 31:15 This plan ahead, self-starter riseth and giveth to those around her. This takes a pretty selfless woman to get herself out of bed early to serve her husband and family.

Trait #7 : "She considereth a field and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard." Proverbs 31:16 This enterprising, yet cautious woman is quite resourceful! From this passage we can see that she has an eye for buying property, can plant a cash crop and knows how to multiply her investments. This girl has some entrepreneurial talents that could be the envy of most college business majors! She is not your run of the mill, stay at home mom!

Just in these first seven traits we see a picture of what the Bible calls, a virtuous woman.
How did we do in comparing ourselves to her? Let's give extra attention to developing these traits and next month we will talk about a few more.

If you are a single girl reading this, I encourage you to develop in your character the mindset and abilities of this woman after God's own heart.

Let's strive to mimic this good woman....for the glory of God and for the pleasure of our husband.

Oh, The Feelings We Can Feel!

2011-08-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

Written By Sheryl Shaffer

Have you ever really listened to a group of women talking and socializing with one another? There is one word that invariably comes up more than any other word. It is used so often and spontaneously, that it is as natural as breathing. It is a word frequently used and fuels the topics of conversation for most women.

The word is, “feel”. “I just feel like she should have....”, “I really feel like he is not....”, “I just feel so....” This is precisely how women, young and old, communicate. Most of a woman’s conversation springs from how she feels about any given subject. There are other times that she may not talk at all; if she isn’t physically well or she doesn’t have an opinion on the subject discussed.

What’s my point? Whether women will admit it or not, most of their opinions are “feelings” motivated! Having a “feeling” about something is not bad in and of itself. A woman’s feelings or premonition have saved many a child from potential harm or injury. That sixth sense, that women seem to have at times, has often been a blessing to her family.

Our adversary, the Devil, that “roaring lion”, knows that a woman intuitively “feels” on a multitude of levels. This becomes a serious problem when we closely examine what we are feeling so opinionated about, why we have that opinion and where it came from. Answering these three questions will clearly prove what kind of woman we really are.

Women speak from their feelings most of the time. Our thoughts are nurtured and fed by our emotions. A woman’s feelings can change in one minute’s time, all because of a new input. It may come from an outside influence or from her own thoughts, and before you know it...BOOM...she is in the pit and out of control or over the moon with joyful elation.

Is this a bad thing? What’s the big deal anyway? It becomes a big deal because we use our feelings to influence others! My friend, it is best that we not underestimate the power of our influence. Take a good look at Eve in the book of Genesis. She is a perfect example of how influence can change a life, a destiny. It only took one voice for her to be persuaded against what her Creator God had already said. With that input, she affected Adam and we all live with the results of that one decision.

Romans 5:12 “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned.”

I think it’s long passed time that women, who call themselves a Christian, start thinking with the mind of Christ.

Philippians 2:5 “Let this mind be in YOU, which was also in Christ Jesus...”

What kind of mind is this? It’s a Biblical mind, a “thinking from the scripture” mind. So few think in this manner. Feelings thinking is the norm and this unbiblical, fleshly thinking is destroying marriages, children and our churches.

Ladies, biblical thinking can keep us from growing into bitter, cranky old women. A woman who really knows God, will know that true spirituality is found only through obeying God’s Word and not when following her own emotional sensibilities.

Your heart attitudes MAKE your life.

Proverbs 4:23 “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out if a woman is thinking biblically. Just listen for a few minutes and you’ll know. A woman with constant “issues”, a complaining spirit and moodiness, is not a biblically thinking woman. She is thinking only from her feelings. That’s why she has the moodiness, the complaints and “issues”.

Why is this true?

Because the Bible says so. “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee: (why?) because he trusteth in thee.” Isaiah 26:3

The verbalizing of her complaints, her moodiness and her life issues, reveal her lack of peace. It shows her to be what she is.

Lack of peace reveals a woman who does not trust in the Lord with all her heart and has no peace with God.

Psalm 119:165 “Great peace HAVE they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.”

The Biblical helpmeet in the home needs to be operating with the mind of Christ everyday. Your influence on your family is too great for you to allow your feelings to go unchecked and unbridled. I have seen more than my fair share of “Christian women” that did not live each day with the mind of Christ in control. How they felt about parents, people in the church, their pastor and their own husband, began to be revealed by the unbiblical behavior they demonstrated in the final severing of God given relationships.

Let’s bring those “feelings” that go against the Truth of scripture, “into captivity, to the obedience of Christ”. II Corinthians 10:5

Our Divine Purpose

2011-07-04T16:02:00.000-07:00

Written by Sheryl Shaffer

Who am I? Why am I here? Dear sister....you are not here by accident. There is a divine purpose for your existence and accepting that purpose will determine whether you will ever really be happy on planet earth.

I read an article a few years back in the USA Today newspaper entitled, “For some moms, home is not at the range”. Humorous though that sounded, the entire article was completely against the scriptural role of the woman and encouraged resistance to traditional thinking on the role of a woman in our culture.

It really doesn’t matter what the culture thinks about a woman’s role. It does matter what God thinks!

The real reason that a woman is supposed to be the keeper of the home is because God appointed that position for her. A biblical wife is to be a helpmate to her husband, a life giver and nurturer to her children and she is the one God designed to be the keeper of the home environment. There is more to this environment than just how it looks!

Today, many young girls have been taught and convinced that their talents are too valuable to be wasted on a man and children, in the confines of the home. They have been taught that they should practice their talents and follow their dreams in the marketplace and be paid for doing it. Someone else nurtures their children as they work to fill their homes with cool gadgets, extra spending money and evenings out shopping. Children are being raised by themselves and by TV, rather than from a real live, loving mother. American families have more of this world’s goods than ever before, but we are very poor in what matters the most. Even so called Christian families, are filled with dysfunction. Moms and Dads alike, are operating outside of their God designed roles and we are paying for it as a nation and as families.

Our Creator has the right to dictate our roles in life. It’s our job to submit ourselves to His plan. Things will go well...if we do.

“But our God is in the heavens; he hath done whatsoever he hath pleased.” Psalm 115:3

“....Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, why hast thou made me thus? Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honor, and another
unto dishonor?” Romans 9:20b-21

“Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.” Romans 13:1

Homemaking, has become a negative word in our society. It conjures up ideas of grueling, repetitious cooking, cleaning and mundane chores in the minds of modern women. Young girls see this kind of life as boring, rather than important work. It’s still God’s plan for a woman’s true happiness.

A Biblical Helpmeet Learns to Pray and Trust God

2011-06-01T20:53:00.000-07:00

Written by Lynette VanInwegen

My husband and I have known for about three years that he was unsaved. During that time, our marriage went down hill dramatically. Our relationship became increasingly more difficult as our spirits fought against each other. I went through some very hard, faith testing things during this time. I found myself in the midst of trials I never dreamed I would have to face. I wish I could say that through them my faith in God was unwavering, but that was not the case. There were so many times through this journey toward my husband’s salvation that I wanted to quit. I was weary of the struggle, the hurt, and the pain that I felt I could not endure it any longer. I wanted to walk away! I know that I would have, if I had not had my Mom and Pastor & Mrs. Shaffer standing by my side, encouraging me to endure hardness by faith in the Lord. Many times I would run to my Mom and pour out my heart to her, complete with all the hurt, anger, frustration, and despair that I was feeling at the time. She would love on me and then point me back to the Lord. She always said
that we just have to trust the Lord. He is in control of this and knows what is best for us. She reminded me that He will not give us more than we can handle.

Pastor and Mrs. Shaffer were faithful counselors to me during this time. I am so thankful for the hours that they spent trying to help me. Mrs. Shaffer, you especially were such a friend to me. You told me the hard things I needed to hear that caused me to look at myself and question the thoughts in my heart that were not right. I know I have entertained the thought before that you wouldn’t understand because you had never been
through the situation I was going through. But I learned that situations can be as different as night and day, but the feelings and despair we feel in those situations are the same no matter who we are and the Bible has
the answer for every one of them. Mrs. Shaffer has been through times when all she could do was trust the Lord and pray. That was where I was. No matter the details of a given situation, all I needed to do was
trust the Lord and pray that He would do what was best for me. Letting go of my own reasoning and completely relying on my God …by faith in the Lord, was the hard part. I appreciate the hard things she shared with me. I did not always like what she told me because it meant that I needed to change my heart and give up the hurt that I was feeling. I would leave from talking with her, faced with a decision. Would I accept what I knew was Biblically right or would I harden my heart to the Godly council I had been given?

Through my tough time, my one heart’s desire was to never harden my heart to the Lord. Many times I didn’t want to do what the Lord wanted me to do, but because I wanted His blessing on my life more than anything, I tried to put to practice in my home the council I was given. I always saw how the Lord blessed me abundantly when I did!!

When I look back now on that terribly dark time of struggle in my marriage, there are two things that stand out that the Lord taught me. These were the hardest lessons for me to learn and I felt like I was learning them again almost every day. Sometimes I had to remind myself of them more than once a day.

1. I cannot live without His Word.

During the last six months especially, God’s Word has become more real and alive to me than at any other time in my life. I have found precious comfort in the simple Word of God. The book of Psalms is very special to me. It is amazing to me that the words that King David penned thousands of years ago, speaks to my heart today, even though my circumstances are very different than his were at the time. God’s Word has been my comfort and strength during times of difficulty and hopelessness. When my heart was breaking, my emotions were all spent, and my strength was all gone, I knew I could go to the Lord and His Word and He would always be there with just the words to strengthen me. He truly is all I need! I want to share with you some of the verses that encouraged me so much during these times. Each night as I went to His Word in my devotions, I felt as though the Lord would pick me up and put me in his lap, just like a Father, and He would strengthen me again.

“I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.” Psalm 27:13,14

There were days when I had to quote verse 14 to myself many times just to keep my thinking right. The Word of God became my weapon against despondency and giving up.

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. The Lord is their strength and he is the saving strength of his anointed.” Psalm 28:7,8”

“The Lord redeemeth the soul of his servants: and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate.” Psalm 34:22

“I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:3

“For in thee, O Lord, do I hope; thou wilt hear, O Lord my God.” Psalm 38:15

During my times of despair, God’s Word so gently reminded me that I was not trusting in Him. Many of these verses show the great promises for those that will completely trust in Him. We either trust the Lord or we don’t. It is that simple.

I knew that I had to make that choice to trust Him- no matter the outcome or trials I would face.

I remember one time I came to a crossroad and was faced with this decision. I had talked with Mrs. Shaffer and left knowing I had only these two choices in front of me: I would either fully trust God, or give up on everything…My home, my family, my marriage, my service for the Lord---everything! It was a very serious time for me. I remember crying a lot and I remember the battle going on inside of me. Being human I didn’t want to be hurt anymore. I wanted my trial to end. When I did my devotions that night I asked the Lord to show me something that would give me the strength to go on. Here is the answer I got: Psalm 32:7-10

“Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah. I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with
mine eye.”

The Lord said, ‘You don’t have to know what the future holds. It may be scary and very uncertain, but you can trust Me to show you each step to take’.

“Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee. Many sorrows shall be to the wicked: but he that trusteth in the Lord, mercy shall compass him about.” Psalm 32:7-10

I knew after reading these last two verses that if I did not submit my will to the Lord and trust him that many sorrows would follow me. I am happy to say that I chose to submit to Him that night and He gave me the assurance once again, that He would take care of me. I knew that He would give me the strength to go on. He is truly all I need!!

Something else I learned….

2. I can’t live without His hand of blessing on my life, nor do I want to.

There were more times than I like to admit that I wanted to give up while waiting for a change in my husband and my marriage. I grew weary of the struggle often and was tempted to walk away from it all. So many times, I would come to this place and the Devil would say…’nothing is ever going to change. Just give up’. My Mom told me “Don’t give up! What if you give up today and tomorrow is the day the Lord answers
our prayers?” I remember the weekend before my husband’s salvation that I came to this place and the Devil tempted me to quit. He convinced me I could not go any further. I talked to my Mom again. The Shaffers
were in South Africa and I did not have them to run to. I counseled with my parents but my heart was not at peace. All I had was the Lord. I remember going to my Heavenly Father that night and asking for something from His Word. Like the Lord always does, He gave me this scripture. It told me that He had compassion for my weakness and despair and that there was HOPE in Him.

Lamentations 3:18-26 “And I said, My strength and my hope is perished from the Lord: Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall. My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me. This I recall to my mind, THEREFORE HAVE I HOPE. It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.

They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.”

The Lord does not seek to destroy his own. He has compassion for our trials.

Lamentations 3:31-34 “For the Lord will not cast off for ever: But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies. For he doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men. To crush under his feet all the prisoners of the earth,”

That night I saw the goodness of the Lord again and how he wanted to strengthen my faith through this trial….

Lamentations 3:55-57 “I called upon thy name, O Lord, out of the low dungeon. Thou hast heard my voice: hide not thine ear at my breathing, at my cry.”

His answer: “Thou drewest near in the day that I called upon thee: thou saidist, FEAR NOT.”

Through the Word of God, my soul was helped and strengthened! There truly is power in the Word of God if we will take heed to it when it’s preached and shared.

God then did what only God can do! He saved my husband by His grace that very next Sunday!! I am convinced that if I had given up and not submitted myself to the Lord, He would have lifted his hand of blessing on my life and my husband would not have been saved!! Our home and marriage would have dissolved. God intervened in my home and my marriage and has given me a new man for a husband!

In every circumstance of our lives, these two truths will apply. We cannot live without the Word of God -- daily in our lives and we cannot live without His blessing on our lives. Access to His blessing comes only from trusting Him and submitting to His will.

Through this time of trial, the Lord has become my best friend, my comfort, my strength, and His Word is my life-line!! These words from a song come to mind. This is how I feel about the Lord!

“It’s such a privilege to know the Lord. It’s such a treasure to have His Holy Word. Lord, don’t let me lose sight of the wonder or take it for granted anymore. It’s such a privilege to know the Lord.”

God has also changed me through my trial. For any trial you are facing remember this quote: “Be faithful and patient knowing that while you are trusting God for a change (whatever that change may be for you), He will change you to live well within it until the time comes for your miracle!”

He gave me my miracle and I praise Him for it! We don’t have to live defeated Christian lives because of the trails we are facing. Because we are human, we will have times of discouragement and despair, but we don’t have to live there or stay there. The Devil will always try to bring us down in our weak times, but ‘Greater is He that is in me than He that is in the World’.

“He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.” Psalm 62:6

Life Without My Husband

2011-05-02T14:00:00.000-07:00

Have you ever considered what life would be like without your husband in your life? Some disgruntled wife may say, “I would be happier and better without him! I only stay for the children.” Another, dissatisfied wife may lament, “I don’t “feel” love for him anymore anyway. Why would it matter if he were not here anymore?”

A woman with these kinds of attitudes would really concern me, because these are not to be the attitudes of a true child of God. Women who live in physically abusive situations need to remove themselves and their children from those environments, for their own safety. Even in those extreme situations, reconciliation should always be the goal. Why? Because nothing is too hard for God! He is the healer of broken hearts and minds! Our God can “fix” anything if we surrender ourselves into His capable hands!

I know a pastor’s wife who is younger than me and she lost her husband to cancer thispast year. While I was in Africa on our missions trip, Donna Kuzel shared some thought with me from a letter she had received from this widowed pastor’s wife. I want to share them with you. We can all learn from what others go through. Perhaps this will bring a new appreciation for your own husband and his position of influence in your life. If your relationship with your husband is stagnant, lifeless, lacking passion or interest, it might do each wife well, to sit down and reflect on the “what if’s”…..

A portion of the letter

This year has been filled with some new challenges for me (and my children) due to the death of my dear husband. I am excited about his “new experiences” with our Lord--- his “new perspective” about life. I miss him so much. It is hard to imagine a life without him here on earth.

On August 23rd at 5:15 AM, during the few minutes I felt I was fighting for his life, I experienced first hand, a person passing from life here on earth to life in eternity. We truly are one heartbeat or one breath from beginning our eternity. I was so blessed to have two hours alone with his body in our home before the funeral home workers came to get him. I tried to say to him, (through my tears) “See you soon!” which of course also
meant, “Goodbye Sweetheart!”

So many fond memories fill my mind each day of laughter, disappointment, hard work, happiness and frustrations, but overall, I feel like shouting because my husband always tried to speak the truth with love. His willingness to share Biblical principles brought great joy into my life and the lives of others. He completed his mission/purpose and God took him at the appointed time that He decided my husband’s purpose was fulfilled.

My future is in God’s hands. Whatever He wants me to do with my remaining years of life here on earth is His to guide. I cannot imagine living on earth without a close daily walk with my Heavenly Father. Certain days bring me to tears when I think of how blessed I was being his wife for 36 years. Other days I cry because I have such dear, loving friends. Other days I cry because I miss my husband’s Bible teaching and
preaching. Some days I cry because I can’t wait to get to Heaven! These are “good tears”, I call them. Helpful tears in the grieving process. The experiences of this year have helped me love and appreciate even more, sound spirit-led preaching from God’s Word. What a great day it will be when all we do is listen to Christ teach us and then we can really shout!

Without my Savior, Jesus Christ, I would be nothing, have no hope and wouldn’t care one hoot about living another day.

Please stay in touch with me…

___________

There are several lessons to be learned from this dear pastor wife.

1. While our husbands’ are still alive, living with us and a part of our life, take the time to “fight for his life”. See that he is happy! Care that he is happy! Nourish him… body, soul and spirit. His longevity is helped by each of these areas and you will both be happy if you will fight for his life, with you!

2. This dear wife felt blessed to be alone with his physical body after his spirit left to be with the Lord. Do we enjoy the time alone with our husband’s living body as we should? Are we annoyed if he “gets in our way” or seems to be “underfoot”? Time with our husband should never seem like an inconvenience. Do we cherish two hours alone with our husband’s live body?

3. God has an “appointed” time for all of us to die. The problem is, we just don’t know when that time is! We all have a mission and a purpose to accomplish while we live.

If you have a husband, your mission has been set before you. Take care of that man! Reverence your husband as your head and be the best helpmeet you can. You do not know when your time….or his…will be up!

My Best Gift to Ken

2011-04-01T08:40:00.000-07:00

Ephesians 5:21 "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God."

In the context of Scripture, this verse seems plain in stating that both the husband and wife are to be submissive to one another in the marriage relationship, because it is obedience to His Word and in reverence to the Lord. Yet, the very next verse makes the wife's role even clearer.

Ephesians 5:22-23 "Wives, submit yourselves unto you own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body."

Yes, we are to be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ, but as a wife, we are to be subject not only to Christ, but to our own husband as well. Submission has become an ugly word in our culture. No one wants to be submissive or subject to anyone for fear that they will lose control over their own lives and choices. Submission in Scripture is much different than that. It really means: Wives, adapt yourselves to your own husbands. As the church is subject to Christ,, the wife is to also be subject to their husbands...in everything. We are to adapt ourselves to what is taught and preached in the Lord's church. That really is not a negative thing. The husband is commanded to love his wife like Christ loved the church and gave himself for it and the wife is to see that she reverences and respects that husband. Notice him. Make him feel that what he says and does really means something to you. Show him regard. Listen when he talks. Look him in the eye and show interest in his thoughts. Honor him in the manner that you speak back to him...in public and in private.

I see too many wives who do not honor their husband's thoughts in public. He may walk up while you are in conversation with someone else and you can shun his presence or you can invite him into your conversation. If it is hard to welcome his thoughts when people are around, what is it like in private? A man needs to feel valued by his wife. If a wife shows a lack of interest in her husband's thoughts and ideas, she sends a message of inadequacy to him. His opinions don't matter. He will not feel that she prefers him to others. This is the best way to tear down his manhood. Praise him and admire him exceedingly! Make sure your respect for him is seen and heard by others. A man needs to know that he is worthwhile and valued by his wife. At the same time, a man needs to enter your conversation with others, in a respectful manner. It is never right to be rude. Make him feel welcome to step in and in turn he will treat you with the love you desire.

A note to single girls.....If you are interested in a young man who has characteristics and behaviors that annoy you or seem obnoxious to you....DO NOT MARRY THE MAN. It is so important to feel that you can honestly respect and honor the man you choose to marry. Does he exercise self-control in his personal life? You marry a man's character! You will live with that the rest of your life. If you are already married to a man that you struggle to respect and honor, ask the Lord to tenderize your heart toward your man. Pray for him. God has asked us as wives to do only one thing for our husband. That is to reverence him by our submission to him. Give him the gift of submission. This is an attitude grounded in respect and your willingness to adapt yourself to him.

Submission does not mean the wife is inferior or that the husband has the right to demand obedience or lord over her. This is all about two spouses giving a gift to the other. When the wife adapts herself to her husband in order to meet his needs and to show her reverence and respect for him, she is opening the blessing gate of heaven on her marriage relationship. If she can look at her husband with eyes of reverence and respect....that husband becomes a King among men. They BOTH are blessed because she gives him the position of respect and he gives her a place of honor and she feels loved.

The more you please your husband....the more he will try to please you. The more he attempts to please you...the happier you will become. This is when true love in a relationship just FEELS GOOD! The home is at peace because the people living in it are at peace with each other......and God.

Does My Man Need Encouragement?

2011-03-01T04:00:00.000-08:00

Written By Sheryl Shaffer

A woman’s work is never done and in the hubbub and busyness of life we can get so focused on our to-do list that we fail to nurture our relationship with our own husband. If you have young children in the home, they can very easily become the focus of your existence and your poor husband can get the leftovers…if there are any to get! Every wife needs to remind herself that her husband needs attention too. He may be more understanding than your demanding four year old, but he too, craves your attention.

What are some encouraging things that your husband could be benefited by?Here are four simple things that will strike a chord in his heart and send a message of love and encouragement.

Give them a try!

1. Pray for him. Praying for your husband out loud, in front of him is one of the most powerful things you can do for your husband. Pray a prayer thanking God for him. Pray for wisdom for all the life choices he must make for you and the family. Pray for his strength to labor on your behalf. Let him hear you pray for him.

2. Listen to him. Make sure he knows that what he has to say is really important to you. Take the time to look him in the eye when he is speaking to you. Most men are less verbal than women, so making sure he knows that his words are important enough for you to give him your full focus, is very valuable to your relationship.

3. Look at him like another woman would! If you don’t put a log on the fire….another woman will!

4. Remind yourself every day that it is your God given responsibility to be your husband’s wife and a mother to his children. Remembering that will encourage him in return.

Proverbs 31:11 “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.”

ABCs of Being a Help Meet

2011-02-01T14:00:00.000-08:00

Written by Sheryl Shaffer

A ~ Admit when you are wrong

B ~ Be positive

C ~ Cook healthy meals to keep him happy, vibrant and strong

D ~ Don’t be a nag

E ~ Encourage him

F ~ Find ways to just bless him…for no reason at all- but love

G ~ Give him back rubs

H ~ Hug often

I ~ “I love you” should be said many times every day

J ~ Joke around. Have fun together!

K ~ Know his needs, which means you must set yours aside for a while

L ~ Listen when he talks

M ~ Make his home a well organized castle

N ~ Never hold grudges

O ~ Only have eyes of appreciation for him!

P ~ Pray for him

Q ~ Quietly respond when you may not agree, rather than stoking the fire.

R ~ Read God’s instruction book (the Bible) every day. You can’t be faithful without it.

S ~ Show respect and honor

T ~ Treat him like he is the man of God in your home.

U ~ Understand his need for reverence

V ~ Vulnerability is a feminine trait; cultivate it

W ~Wink at him. It’s ok to flirt with your own husband!

X ~ X is for private times

Z ~ Zealously guard him with your love

How to Ruin Your Man

2010-12-02T19:47:00.000-08:00

Men are not all the same. God gave each man a nature that is in part, much like Himself, but never complete. As women, it is important that we know what kind of man we are married to. Learning to appreciate the kind of man we married is 99% of the success of a marriage! Learning to adapt to our husband as he is and not as we want him to be will be the challenge of our lifetime. We can ruin a good man if we lack the understanding of what kind of man we married and fail to support him with his inadequacies. Always remember…your husband will probably be nothing like your father or brothers. Accept that.

God gives imperfect women to imperfect men so that together we can be heirs together of the grace of life and be something as a couple that will glorify the Heavenly Father!

I Peter 3:7 "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."

Husband # 1

If you are married to a commanding, forceful, bossy man, then it is very important that you learn how to make an appeal without challenging his authority or manhood. This type of man tends to have less tolerance and seems more self-sufficient. It is his nature to control. Learning to appreciate his dominant personality and commanding leadership will be the greatest gift you can give your husband. If you decide to fight against his decisive leadership, you'll both be miserable. This kind of man needs to have a wife who will admire his strengths and reverence him. Do your best not to shame or belittle him. This will destroy this kind of man faster than anything. Don't ignore his accomplishments…big or small. This kind of man who fails to receive his wife's respect and honor can turn in to an abusive man if he is not a Christian.

You can ruin your marriage to Mr. Command Man by just failing to honor, obey and reverence your husband's authority and rule. Don't try to change him. Train yourself to adapt to HIS needs and you'll find yourself much happier.

Husband # 2

If you are married to a man who likes to fly by the seat of his pants, I encourage you to hang on for the ride! These emotion driven men are dreamers in many ways. They can stir people to action or sell you a broken down tractor and make you think you're getting a prize antique! They are quick to call people on the carpet and if they are not wise, they can become fools who forcefully push their agendas on others. They are not afraid of confrontation. These kinds of men are often very gifted men and full of entrepreneur ideas.

With all these qualities, it is important that they have a wife who is spiritually minded. She needs to know how to speak a word of wisdom in due season. If you are not thinking Biblically you can't speak a good word in season. If you are a negative wife, you will ruin this kind of man. You will then have two poison tongued people living under the same roof. A wife married to this kind of man needs to be flexible! Learn to go with the flow. Adapt. Your husband will need your support and will appreciate it when it is freely given. He will have a lot of ideas and visions for your life, home and family. Be careful when he shares a new idea, that you don't destroy him by telling him his idea is crazy and he is an idiot. Just purpose in your heart to be loyal and strive to be flexible!

You can ruin your marriage by failing to follow, believe and participate enthusiastically with your dreamer husband.

Husband # 3

You might find yourself married to a less than exciting man. He may not have a flamboyant personality or the charisma of a salesman. He may avoid controversy as much as possible when you really wish that he would speak up. This man does not make snap decisions or may be slow to even make a decision. He is often tolerant or will even ignore hypocrisy in others. Life for the wife of Mr. Easy Going will be much easier than for other wives. This steady, cautious man may not be the most romantic and you may miss his true worth. Be very careful not to equate your husband's wise caution as weakness, lack of passion or unspiritual. A woman married to this kind of man is actually quite blessed but she may not see it that way. If you allow disappointment and unthankfulness to take root, you will find your husband trying all the harder to please you and it will weaken your respect for his masculinity. If the truth be known, this man is the best example of Christ likeness there is.

Matthew 20:28 "Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many."

If you are married to this kind of man…honor him and watch him grow into a mighty man of God.

You can ruin your marriage by simply failing to appreciate, wait on and be thankful for your husband's pleasant, gracious qualities!

What kind of man are you married to? Be the helpmeet that he needs and you'll both be over the moon with happiness!

Five Keys for a Happy Home

2010-11-01T18:00:00.000-07:00

Key 1: Give God the first hour of each day.

Mark 1:35 “And in the morning, rising up a great while before day, he went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed.”

Take the time to pray in the morning. He is waiting to hear from you….

Key 2: Give God the first day of the week.

I Corinthians 16:2 “Upon the first day of the week let everyone of you lay by him in store, as God hath prospered him, that there be no gatherings when I come.”

Serve God in your church for the salvation of your community. Do not save your life and time for yourself. Give God His day and protect its sanctity with your life.

Key 3: Give God the first portion of your income.

Proverbs 3:9 “Honour the LORD with thy substance, and with the first fruits of all thine increase:”

God blesses you with the 90%....be generous and give Him His 10%. Be blessed and give Him even more out of your abundance. You cannot out-give God!

Key 4: Give God the first consideration in every decision.

Matthew 6:33 “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

This will include your choice of a house, the friends you choose, where you will work, the church you will attend, the school you put your children in. All these choices draw you closer to the Lord and a spiritual mind….or they draw you away ….just one choice at a time. Fight the urge to make choices rooted in fleshly reasoning or emotional whims.

Key 5: Give God’s Son first place in your heart…everyday….always.

II Corinthians 8:5 “And this they did, not as we hoped, but first gave their own selves to the Lord, and unto us by the will of God.”

Create a happy home by making Christ first place in everything! He already sees and hears everything anyway. Knowingly, live each day in His presence!

These five keys will unlock the blessings of the Lord for your family and the salvation of the souls of your children. Is it worth it?

The Life of a Biblical Helpmeet in South Africa: Missionary Wives

2010-10-01T06:00:00.000-07:00

Written by Missionary wife, Donna Kuzel

A Tribute to Jackie Wyatt

This particular article is written in honour of Jackie Wyatt who has served on the mission field with her husband George for 30 years this October 2010. With the help of Kristin Hammett, another missionary’s wife, I would like to share with you what a valuable asset Jackie is to me and to others, as well as a little of what she has taught us from her many years of experience.

It is essential to know that a lady is called a missionary’s wife only because of WHO she married. A wife’s main focus, after the Lord, should be her husband and then her family. As we all know, men are very different from each other, and a wife is commanded to be under obedience to her own husband. Jackie is a wonderful example of what it means to serve a husband, as he leads.

We have been blessed to be guests in the Wyatt’s home and have seen their conversation of life. Both George and Jackie Wyatt, upon rising from sleep, will read their Bibles, with-- of course, a cup of coffee or tea to make the time even more enjoyable. Before they start their day, they want to be renewed in their minds by their Saviour.

Jackie mentions, on many occasions, what life was like when they first arrived in South Africa. She often refers to various missionary families that were already here and to the things she learned from those other women. First of all, how could any woman ever forget the virtuous qualities learned from Mom. (Jackie mentions her mother often!) Next in line would be her Pastor’s wife, which for Jackie- at that time- was Mrs. Audrey Silcox, who made Jackie feel like one of her own daughters, as she grew up in Bible Baptist Church.
Jackie also speaks of how she loved her time together with other missionary families. Every Monday they would meet for fellowship and to allow their children play together. The men would watch the children so she and Mrs. Isabel could go and enjoy time together over a cup of coffee.

Holding up her skillet, Mrs. Dearmore, another missionary wife said to Jackie, “This is your ministry.” How true that statement is, as cooking and baking seem to be a frequent event in all of our homes.

Cooking for a family of five in your own kitchen is very different than cooking for a number of people in a village with no or limited electricity and water. Everything you may need must be brought with you. Preparing ahead of time is the best, and there have been many times when talking with Jackie that she has been doing baking, baking, and more baking for a particular occasion. She will then freeze it all and be ready to take it with her the day of the event. We were with the Wyatts for a special occasion in a village where she had fixed ‘enough’ for a certain number, but I believe more than double that amount showed up, and the ‘Lord blessed’ it, and no one went away hungry.

After returning home, there would be the plastic plates and cups to wash, dry and put away.

Missionary wife, Kristin Hammett shares how, when they first arrived in South Africa, they stayed a month at the Wyatt’s home. Kristin says, “My first trip to the grocery store with Jackie was crucial! It saved me from learning a lot the hard way! Sometimes I have to be careful what I fix for them when they come to my house, because several of my recipes are Jackie’s.” How true these statements are, especially the aspect of shopping. I remember one missionary from a European country sharing about her first trips to the grocery store, when she had no idea what was in the cans she was buying, since she could not read the labels. At the least, we only had to learn that Baking Soda is Bicarbonate Soda; Powder Sugar is Powder Icing; Ketchup is Tomato Sauce, and what brands are good to buy. Even though there are more imports, now, they are a lot more expensive to buy than the South African brands.

There will never be a time when I am in Kruger National Park when I don’t think of Jackie Wyatt. The first time we visited Kruger was in 2004, when we were here ‘surveying’ the country. We spent almost two full days in the park looking for animals in the wild with the Wyatts, Ethan Custer and a young African man. Of course, food and lodging had all been planned ahead of time, and this was done by Jackie. The preparation done in advance for this trip was obvious; there is no way to make a quick run to the grocery store to buy something for dinner. What a treat it was to be sitting outside under the Southern Hemisphere stars, having a braai (cookout), enjoying a wonderful meal prepared by hands that loved to entertain and serve others. One of their family traditions is getting up EARLY and looking for animals by 0500, so this means breakfast comes later; eggs, bacon, bread, and more cooked over a fire about 10 o’clock in the morning is a real treat. Just be careful the baboons don’t come up and steal the loaf of bread!

Kristin shares how Jackie has been her South African mom, “She has been there to offer advice, encouragement, rebuke, and a shoulder to cry on when I had a miscarriage. They live four hours way. We called the day I miscarried, and they were there 4.5 hours later. They left immediately, which meant more than words could ever say.” What a blessing to know we have a resource when it comes to child training and home schooling, and balancing these things with the activities of the ministry. Both George and Jackie have said, many times, how much they learned from Bible Baptist Church’s Family Camps, when Pastor and Mrs. Olen Adams would speak on the family. Now, on the other side of parenting, the Wyatt’s are willingly “Oupa and Ouma” (Grandpa and Grandma) or Uncle and Aunt to the next generation of missionary children, who are far from their own relatives.

The ups and downs of ministry are probably the hardest thing for anyone who desires to share the gospel with individuals. The Wyatts long for others to have the joy of the Lord on a daily basis, to serve Him faithfully, and to reach others for Him. They have shared the ‘success’ stories and the disappointments they have experienced over the years, each a learning process and a time to draw closer to their Lord.

As a missionary wife, Jackie has had to put her own sorrow aside in order to make sure she was an encourager to her husband. Recently, Jackie said to me on the phone, “No two days are the same in the life of a missionary.” How true this is.

Words of caution, things to beware of, cultural differences, traditions, various responses between white South Africans and black South Africans, are just more ways that the Wyatts have helped us “adjust” to our new home. They arrived here 30 years ago under a very different form of government and have been here through many changes AND have faithfully served the Lord through it all.

“I guess to sum it up, Jackie has had a servant’s heart that hasn’t stopped with the African people they are called by God to minister to. They offer themselves to minister to the other missionaries here as well. Her influence, contentment, and joy have greatly impacted my life,” says Kristin Hammett. Isn’t this the desire all of us should have, to be a godly influence in the lives of others and to impact them for the Lord, while having the joy of the Lord ourselves?

As Alayna says, “You are the best Ouma in all the world!” We love you Jackie!

(Thank you, Kristin Hammett, for your perfect examples and words of testimony.)

Am I a Happy Housewife?

2010-09-02T06:10:00.000-07:00

What is life like on your end of the block? As the years of marriage accumulate and the stresses of raising children and facing disappointments mount…the state of our marital bliss can become very discolored. A continual practice of disappointed thinking can change us as a person…and as a wife.

It is a gradual thing that happens when we don't adhere to strict Biblical principles in regard to our feelings and thought life. Our feelings really do tell on us. It's good to listen to what our feelings are telling us but we must not live by them! My feelings reveal my true spiritual nature. It's good for me to know my feelings well enough to be able to discern what sort they are.

Our husband and family need for us to be a helpmeet who is well advised. We need to seek for wisdom in controlling our emotions and feelings. There is only one way to get that wisdom. We have to seek for it!

A wise woman is always learning. She is open to change and she is ready to hear. Is this you? Too many women let their own feelings dictate their choices and responses and they are closed to the help or input of their husband, their pastor or other Godly friends.

Proverbs 12:15 "The way of the fool is right in his own eyes (opinions); but he (she) that hearkeneth (seeks for and listens) unto counsel is wise."

A truly wise woman is a teachable woman.

Proverbs 9:9 "Give instruction to a wise man and he will be yet wiser; teach a just man, and he will increase in learning."

Sounds pretty simple doesn't it? Have you ever wondered why some women grow in the Lord faster than others and seem to have more joy and contentment? Wonder no more! Their secret is found in Proverbs 9:9!

Ladies, do you want to be the best helpmeet for your husband? Do you want God's hand of blessing on your home? All of us need to seek for wisdom. Ask the Lord for it. When we don't….here is the reason why we don't…

Proverbs 13:10 "Only by pride cometh contention; but with the well advised is wisdom."

This is the key to being a happy housewife! You can doll yourself up in a multitude of ways but if you are a wife ruled by every wind of your emotions, you are not a spiritual woman. What will we do about the problem….?

Do I Have Something to Sing About?

2010-08-03T06:06:00.000-07:00

Written By Lynette VanInwegen

Recently I was able to attend an Abigail Miller concert. She is a Christian singer/songwriter that I had heard on the radio and I really loved her music. I was so encouraged by listening to this concert. The music she sang spoke to my soul and left me stirred for Christ.

I was so impressed by this wife and mother. She was about seven months pregnant with her 9^th and 10^th child (twins). She sat at the piano and played and sang for three hours, while taking only one short break. How often do we wives complain when we sit half that time. I know the Lord gave her the strength to do it for it was quite obvious.

One of the first thoughts that came to me as I listened and observed this soul stirring concert, was whether I could have done what she was doing, if I were in her shoes?

As I listened to her speak and sing the songs the Lord had given her in the midst of her trials, it became quite obvious that she had a strong, personal relationship with the Lord she sang about. She has seen many tough times and trials, but it wasn’t the trials that she talked about. Her testimony was inspiring because the Lord gave her the inspiration for the beautiful songs-- through the trials. The hard circumstances actually brought out her inner beauty and gave spiritual strength to her testimony. Over and over she shared how amazing His grace was in the midst of life’s trials. She sang with such confidence and faith in the Lord. As a singer myself, I longed for that same confidence and faith in my Lord. I want people to look at my life and see my obvious walk with Christ -rather than the trials that I am facing. I want them to hear the wonderful works of the God I sing about, rather than seeing the emotions I struggle with. I want them to hear the songs I sing and desire to know the God that I sing about. I know this comes only by a daily walk with Him and a daily trusting of Him to guide and direct my steps.

I was encouraged to spend more time with the Lord daily and to spend more time talking with Him so I can develop a better personal relationship with Him. I long for that “best friend” relationship that I saw evident in Abigail Miller’s life. I truly desire for Him to guide my every step.

Most of the songs written by Abigail are based upon stories of the Bible. The Lord speaks to her through the stories and she applies them to her life. When trials come into her life, she finds her main encouragement and strength in the Word of God. I find in my life and trials that too many times I seek out a person or a self-help book to give me the answers and encouragement I need. The Lord showed me that He can do all of that for me if I would just read His word. I was encouraged to get in to my Bible more and read His Word, searching for answers to my life’s questions from Him. I found myself getting up the next day anxious to have my time with the Lord and read His Word. I feel as though I have found a new inspiring Book that I can’t put down. Really I have had this Book all along.

I Peter 5:10 “But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.”

I saw in Abigail Miller, a young wife and busy mother, a life that is strengthened and settled in the Lord. I desire that for my own life. I asked the Lord to change me into a person “settled in Him”. Praise the Lord for what He did in my heart at this concert! Just imagine what kind of help- meets we would be if we would just spend time ‘knowing Him’! We would all have more to sing about!

Content in Her Cottage

2010-07-02T05:38:00.000-07:00

Materialism is very accessible in our country. It is so easy to have nice things and even many conveniences in this culture. We are able to live like Kings and Queens of yesteryear. Yet, even among Christian women there is discontent. There is envy and a desire to keep up with the Jones’.

I really want to encourage and warn young wives and mothers to watch out for the trap of material discontentment.

Discontent is not a product of your circumstances. It is a state of the soul.

As you notice what other moms and their children have, be very careful not to let the seed of envy or desire take root in your heart. One mom may have the coolest, time-saving gadget but that doesn’t mean you have to have it too. Materialism starts with an attitude of the heart.

Lamentations 3:51 “Mine eye affecteth mine heart because of all the daughters of my city.”

You bet it does! Your “city” may be your own church. There are a lot of things that you may see in others that can create desire in you, if you allow it. It is not wrong to have nice things for your family, but just because another family has something nice doesn’t mean that God wants you to have the same thing. I want to encourage young mothers to just be yourself. You don’t have to be like anyone else. You don’t have to have the same lifestyle. You don’t have to dress your children the same way. Your family does not need to compete with any other family. Just be content with what God has provided for you! Provide a home that is furnished with what you can afford and make it a happy place to abide.

At the same time…be extremely careful not to judge those that seemingly have more than you have or have the ability to acquire things that you wish that you could have. If God allows another young family to be blessed with extra material goods….be happy for them!

Philippians 2:3 “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”

Some young wives today are blessed with visionary skills and the ability to be a home-grown entrepreneur! More power to them! But this may not be you. There is no need for you to feel inferior in any way. You may have skills as a homemaker that Esther Entrepreneur doesn’t have. Find those skills and use them for the glory of God and as a blessing to your husband and children. Just be yourself and not a clone of someone else.

Your spirit of discontent will poison your whole family and you will pass on to your children a carnal appetite for “things”. Material things will never satisfy the soul. A wise woman will spread contentment and a thankful spirit to her husband and children.

If you are blessed with nice things and the ability to earn them….use your blessings to be a blessing! Be careful not to flaunt those blessings before others. Weaker sisters in Christ may not be able to react properly to your blessings as you’d like and hard feelings may grow.

As Paul said in Philippians 4:11 “…for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” And in Hebrews 13:5 “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have; for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”

Can I Still Be Taught?

2010-06-02T12:37:00.000-07:00

How do we become a woman who is not controlled or ruled by our emotions and feelings? Proverbs 13:10 “Only by pride cometh contention; but with the well advised is wisdom.”

We need to be well advised! We need to go to the Book of Wisdom. A wise woman is always learning and open to learning any way she can get it!

Proverbs 12:15 “The way of the fool (proud, stubborn, lazy one) is right in his own eyes; but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.”

A woman that doesn’t take God seriously enough to get into His rule book has no fear of God. How can I say that? Proverbs 9:10 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.” The Bible teaches this truth.

Are you a teachable woman? Proverbs 9:9 “Give instruction to a wise man and he will be yet wiser; teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.”

None of us have arrived, ladies. The secret to spiritual mindedness as a wife and helpmeet is found in Proverbs 9:9. Just be teachable!

One of the hardest things you will ever do as a wife is to stay happy, spiritually positive and completely trusting and resting in the Lord, in spite of the spiritual direction your husband may be going! Too many wives allow their joy to depart and plop themselves down in the pity pit, crabbing about their spiritual derelict of a husband. That is ungodly behavior! Why not live what you say YOU are? When you turn into a doubting, discouraged Christian wife, you are dishonoring God right along with your husband. You are also teaching your children that the Christian life is a sad state to have to endure.

Get out of the pit of despair and walk in the Spirit. Practice what you say you believe about the power of God. Stay faithful in church and daily devotions with the Lord. Be an encourager to other women. Refuse to wallow and let the “joy of the Lord be your strength”!

God’s perfect will for your life as a wife…is to be a good help meet.

Sin will cause you to self-destruct and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself. Often times, our critical, depressed attitude is far worse than our husband’s bad habits and sinful ways.

We need wisdom to think right. Seek for it while there is still hope!

How Is Your Husband Known?

2010-05-01T18:17:00.000-07:00

“Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.” Proverbs 31:23

Every wife would love to know that her husband is respected and well regarded by other people. No woman wants to be married to a man who is scorned or not taken seriously in regard to his work and personal ethics.

A wife should feel that her husband is an important man in her life…but he should not be important to her alone. A man’s work was never meant to be a life of just serving his wife and children only, although a good man will work hard to provide for his own as the Bible teaches. He was not created solely for the purpose of just taking care of his wife.

So many times I have noticed couples who are eager to “do something for the Lord” through the Lord’s church and they climb on board the work train with much anticipation and excitement! Perhaps the Lord allows them to teach a class, sing in the choir or be involved in music. Maybe it’s helping in a vacation Bible school or helping in some other ministry of the church. They are overjoyed to be “serving the Lord together”!

Then….time goes by….

Children responsibilities come along….

Realities of life and time crunches set in…..

Their excitement and their perspective begin to fade……

This once eager couple now starts acting like they have so much to do that they can’t possibly get it all done and it begins to look and sound as though the “ministry” they once longed for is now in the way of their real life.

What happened? They failed to realize that when making a vow to serve the Lord with their life and time that with that decision, came the responsibility of placing their commitment to serving the Lord higher on their priority list. It is right to put your family’s spiritual well being first on your list, for you will answer to God for that. But your family’s soccer, basketball, shopping, music lessons and lawn mowing schedule is not to pre-empt your commitment to serving the Lord and being faithful in it.

I want to encourage all the wives who have a husband who holds a prominent position in the Lord’s church and is depended on from week to week by others. You are to be a help to him, in seeing that he is able to fulfill his ministry role and to do it with excellence and in faithfulness. The man who “is known in the gates”, has obviously made a reputation for himself…but his wife had a hand in that too.

How does a wife help her man in this way?

1. Do you have supper ready on time for your husband so he can eat leisurely, in order to be at church on time to fulfill his “ministry”? No one should have to wait on your husband because of something you failed to consider and accomplish as a helpmeet to him. If your husband is chronically late….he will be known among the elders of the land but it will not be favorable for him. Wife….you can help him be on time and be known as a dependable and faithful man! Have his meal ready. Have clean neatly pressed clothes ready for him.

2. If your husband teaches a class or has an Institute class that he must study for, do you provide time and a quiet place for him to accomplish what he has committed to do for the Lord? So many times, a man will rush home from his job to find supper not ready, the house in chaos and he still has spiritual commitments that he is expected to do.

Dear wife….please don’t expect him to come home to rescue you when you know he has committed himself spiritually in other areas. Help him! Have the home front prepared for his return in order to make it easy for your man to “serve the Lord”. Do your part to assist your husband to faithful service for the Lord.

3. Find ways to happily help him! Don’t ever be a wife who sees her husband’s spiritual commitments as “his job” and you don’t have any part of it. You may not do what he is doing but you should help him in ways that will support what he is committed to doing. Don’t be indifferent to what he feels the Lord has called him to do. Something is spiritually wrong with a wife who begrudges the spiritual work her husband is endeavoring to do. Don’t complain about the time he spends in service for the Lord.

Something is spiritually wrong with your love for Christ if you criticize or question your husband’s motives for wanting to serve the Lord. Examine your heart….

Your husband is known by you too. Do you try to make him “look good”? There is an old saying that goes something like this…

“ Behind every good man ….is a good woman.”

There is more truth than fiction in this statement. I’ve also heard it said by many that….

“She is the making of the man.”

A wife can also be the ruin of a man with good potential! What is your help and influence doing to your man? Are you a noose around his neck or a blessing to his heart and ministry for Christ?

I challenge you to give this some thought as you consider your position as a help meet to your husband…

How is Your Husband’s Heart?

2010-04-02T18:00:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 31:11 "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil."

Is your husband's heart safe with you? Can he trust you with his thoughts and feelings?

Are you a wife who talks about your husband to friends and family? If you ever hope to know your husband's deepest thoughts and burdens, then you must be a helpmeet he can trust.

Too many women break the "one flesh" unity by talking about their husband's private thoughts, inadequacies' or mistakes, casually. A man whose heart is not safe with his wife, will never tell her what he intends to do or how he feels about the issues of life.

Our husbands' are prone to imperfections… just as we are. The last thing we would want our husband to do is to exploit our latest blunder, stupidity or thought to the men at the work place. Yet, how many times have women casually shared the "secrets" of their husband, home and family with other females.

Yes, there are funny happenings of life that can be shared, but they should never be degrading of that man in your life. If you make him look stupid or inadequate…just remember---he chose you! Our job in life is to make our man look good. Believe in him. Help him in love. Protect his manhood. It is much more fragile than it might seem at first glance. Women like to be treated like fine china, but I'm here to tell you that your husband would like to be treated in the same way.

Love and respect for the each other will treat a spouse like a priceless treasure.

Ladies, I want to encourage you to work hard to make sure that your husband's heart is safe with you. If there is something you want to "tell someone else about"…. Go to your Heavenly Father. He is the One who can really help you anyway. When He corrects things…He does a permanent job and brings glory to Himself!

There is no greater love than to put another-first!

Our God ordained role in this life is to care for our husband. Always be thinking of his present and future health, physically and emotionally. The only position on this earth where we will find real fulfillment as a woman is as a helpmeet to our husband. God created us to be that way. It is HIS divine appointment…for our lives.

Is your husband's heart safe in your hands?

What’s Wrong With Living in a Pig Sty?

2010-03-03T07:57:00.001-08:00

"For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him: And he is before all things, and by him all things consist." Colossians 1:16-17

Everywhere we look in our world…we see the Hand of God. Nothing about our planet or the human body could have just happened. There had to be a Master Designer to bring order and perfect precision for both. Our God is a God of order. He has never been the author of confusion or disorder.

Since we know this to be a true fact, why is it that so many homes live in disarray and complete chaos? There is absolutely no reason for a home to have on-going bad odors, piles of dirty laundry (or piles of clean, unfolded, uncared for laundry), accumulated dust and dirt, toys left discarded day- in and day- out or trash waiting to be dumped! God is a God of order and a helpmeet who bears His name, ought to look more like her Master in word and deed.

Ladies, don't let that man of yours look like yesterday's dirty shirt. Do his laundry. Make sure his clothes are either pressed or taken immediately from the dryer and hung up so that he doesn't have to look uncared for. If your husband doesn't look neat and tidy, that reflects poorly on his helpmeet….YOU! There is nothing spiritual about baggy, wrinkly pants and shirts. Help your man to get a haircut when he needs one. Keep an eye on his outward appearance. I've cut my husband's hair for 38 years now and I'm usually the one who has to say… "honey, I think it's time for another hair cut". He's a busy man and may let it go longer than would be appropriate. I want him to look his best every time he walks out the door. I watch to be sure everything matches. I look to see whether his clothing is looking tattered or unkempt. That's my responsibility!

Every Christian woman should take seriously the physical condition of her home and her husband. That's our job! That is our calling! Shut the TV off. Pull the plug on social networking and let's stay about the business that God put us here for, in the first place.

Our God of order is pleased when we take the time every day for neatness and cleanness.

How are you doing in the care and cleaning of your home and family?

Contentment....Ugandan Style

2010-01-02T06:00:00.000-08:00

By Cheri Stensaas our missionary to Uganda, East Africa

II Corinthians 10:12 " For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise."

We as Christians sometimes find ourselves, comparing ourselves-- with others. God is very careful to let us know His feelings about this. He tells us that if we do so, that we are not wise. Why is it though, that when we find ourselves comparing ourselves with others, it is usually because we are looking at the things they have and wishing that we had them?

It could be a better job, a bigger house, a newer car, a prettier face, a slim "model" figure, a house make-over or even a more caring husband. We tend to look at the things that others have that we don't have, much too often. Comparing yourself to others, can lead to self-pity and we become discontented with the "things of the world" that the Lord has already given to us.

Let me ask you a question…. If you are one that tends to look at what others have and compare, do you ever compare yourself with someone that is less fortunate than you? Perhaps someone that doesn't have all the things that you have? I daresay that not many of us do that. But if we would begin to compare ourselves to those that live in a third world country, we would immediately gain a better perspective on what we have and indeed be able to "count our many blessings".

Let me take you to Uganda, E. Africa and share with you a few things that go on, in the every day lives of ladies there.

They have no indoor plumbing and have to go to the river or an outside pump somewhere to pump their water. Then they have to carry it back to their house. They will use that water for their cooking, washing dishes, their clothes, and for bathing, all with just a small basin of water. They don't have the luxury of a bathtub or shower, much less hot water.

There is a common outhouse that most of the neighbors share. They live in a 10'x10' one room house with a curtain dividing it. It will have a single bed on the other side for a family of four. The children sleep on mats on the floor.

They have no kitchen but do all their cooking outside. They have to gather either charcoal (not the instant brickets that we are able to buy) or wood, to do their cooking in a one pot "sauce pan" over a charcoal cooker. They don't have the instant foods like we do, so cooking for them takes several hours.

They pretty much eat the same things every day – they have no concept of variety in their diet. Most of the ladies in the village have no electricity. When the sun goes down, (which it does every night around 7:00) they break out the kerosene lanterns or candles. Many of these women dig in their fields or gardens during the day. They have a hoe in one hand and a baby tied to their backs while they labor for many hours in the hot sun. They have very little idle time and are very hard workers.

After reading this, would you say that you are blessed by living in America? We take so much for granted and fail to look around us and see how God has truly blessed us. Instead of complaining about the things that we don't have, we need to be thankful…. ever so thankful, for how much we do have, and that we were privileged to be born in America.

God tells us in Hebrews 13:5, to be content with the things that we have. In I Timothy 6:6-8, God tells us to be content with food and raiment. Are we satisfied with God's provisions?

The more we walk with the Lord and grow in Christ, the more content we will be with whatever He allows us to have. We need to be so satisfied with the wise providence and goodness of God, that we know
that whatever He determines for my life is the best; and therefore I am perfectly content.

Real contentment must come from within and not be dependent on external circumstances.

The things of this world will never bring contentment because they are temporal. Can you find contentment in this great land of plenty?

Philippians 4:11-13 "Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

An HGTV Appetite - On A Thrift Shop Budget

2009-12-01T16:48:00.001-08:00

Have you ever browsed through a magazine, department store or web site and found yourself "wishing"? Because we are so blessed in our country with material abundance, it's very easy to become dissatisfied with just our basic needs being supplied. Instead of having a comfortable chair to sit in, we soon feel the need to have a whole set of furniture that matches that one, comfortable chair. More is perceived as better and having our "satisfaction guaranteed" has now become an expected right.

But the Bible says, "Let your conversation be without covetousness: and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."

The opulence of our culture has not produced a happier society. If anything…we are less content in our materialism and people turn to stimulants of every kind to boost their "happiness endorphins"! For a Godly wife and keeper of the home, be careful to keep a close track of where your material "appetite" is leading you. Did you know that you can become addicted to shopping? Just browsing through a catalog or strolling the aisles of your favorite store, may be hazardous to your family's financial health! Just because "stuff" is available doesn't mean it is good for us or even necessary for life and happiness.

Several years ago, I did a personal experiment with myself. I've never been a window shopper or one who walks through a mall just for the fun of it. I've always been a ---- go get what you need and get out, kind of shopper. At the time, I found that I was enjoying more and more, the programming of HGTV…better known as Home and Garden Television. My husband facetiously refers to it as, "As The Paint Dries" channel. He doesn't necessarily see any value in the programs offered there. I like it and justified my watching it from time to time, as educational in nature. I did learn a lot each time I watched it, but over the months I noticed something else happening to me.

My eye was affecting my heart.

Desires to change things in my home, redo the old and bring in something new, was growing in my heart! The problem? I couldn't afford to do anything about it at the time. Frustration and dissatisfaction began to creep in. Don't get me wrong. There is a place in life for making needed changes in our homes and for learning how to decorate, how to put colors together and how to place furniture in a floor plan.

But that can't be what I'm all about or what I live for!

I'm a wife who must live within a budget provided by my hardworking husband and I am not free to buy whatever my eyes see or my heart desires. There are times when even the smallest purchase can be wrong…because----you can't afford it! Accept the fact that you must live on a thrift store budget. Be content in that! There may be some months when you can't even afford to shop on a thrift store budget! Will you still be happy? Can you still be happy?

Contentment comes from within and as Biblical helpmeets, it is our responsibility to nurture a contented heart. Let it be seen and felt by your husband and children. Set your eyes and your heart on the eternal… those things that will really last forever.

Lamentations 3:51 "Mine eye affecteth mine heart because of all the daughters of my city."

What the prophet Jeremiah was seeing, in the destruction of the city of Jerusalem, was having a profound affect on his feelings. He was in great sorrow of heart. We need to be careful about the things our eyes see! Because what we see does affect our emotions and desires, and influences what we think. Proverbs 23:7 states this to be true.

"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…"

Be content with your Thrift Store lifestyle and count your blessings if the Lord gives you more!

It's Thanksgiving Month!

2009-11-02T15:01:00.000-08:00

The time to perhaps focus a bit more on just being thankful. If you are at all like me, there are times when my perspective on life, people, finances, circumstances, the weather and even my husband, can be discolored because of my attitude.

I can be robbed too quickly of a joyful spirit and a merry heart…with just a simple unthankful thought!

I have learned that the ability to continually think thankful thoughts is totally my choice and is born out of a grateful heart. I must choose to be grateful for what I have been given, grateful for the people God has put into my life…for a purpose, grateful for God's divine purpose and plan in where He has placed me, grateful for the house He provided and every thing in it! I must be grateful for the husband He led me to and the life we have together in serving the Lord. I must choose to be grateful for my children…even when they may disappoint me, remembering that they too, teach me things that help me grow in the Lord!

Are you a woman who often complains about your lot in life? You may be living with an ungodly or a less than loving man, but your thankful spirit can be used by God to bring that man to repentance and faith.

I Peter 2:18-19 "Servants, (it could say wives for we are servants to our husbands…) be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but ALSO to the froward. For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully."

The very next verse says…. "…but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable to God."

Wow! That's huge! So I really can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me! And in the end, I will be bringing glory to God! After all…that is why we are here isn't it?

I Corinthians 10:31 "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do ALL to the glory of God."

This Biblical principle can be applied to every life situation. We women play the martyr complex in "our life sufferings" rather than focusing on bringing glory to God through the trial that He obviously has allowed.

This month I want to challenge you to do something that perhaps you've never done before. I promise you that at the end of the month, you will think differently about your husband and it will spill over into other relationships as well.

1. Begin keeping a "stroke file" on your husband. These need not be something that he sees or ever knows about. You can call this, "My Thankful File".

2. Everyday, take a 4x6 card and write one thing about which you are grateful and thankful for, in your husband. Because of your resentment…it may be difficult to get started at first. Trust me…it will get easier. Just make yourself do it. Store your card in the "stroke file" and think on that thankful thought throughout that entire day.

Example: I'm thankful for the way my husband…

My husband is so good at…

I love the way my husband…

One of my favorite things about my husband is…

I really appreciate…in my husband's character.

3. In your quiet times during the month, go back and re-read through some of the cards you have already written.

If you will make this a habit from then on, you will find the truth found in Proverbs 15:15 coming true for you!

"All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast."

This Thanksgiving, let's have a different kind of feast! Instead of focusing on the comfort foods that bring so much guilt later, place your focus on thankful thoughts primarily toward your husband. Get ready to enjoy the residual blessings as well!

Have a Happ-ier Thanksgiving!

Do I Own A Tongue of Virtue?

2009-10-01T18:23:00.000-07:00

How Can A Woman Not Love The Lord?

2009-09-03T13:05:00.000-07:00

1. He is a gentleman.

2. He is confident.

3. He is a provider and protector.

4. He is rich and powerful.

5. He owns everything; there is nothing He would not do for me.

6. He perfects all things concerning me.

7. He anticipates my wants and needs.

8. Every day He tells me...and shows me, how much He loves me.

9. I don't have to perform to earn His love.

10. He keeps all of His promises.

11. No one can influence His opinion of me.

12. He is the ultimate, intimate partner.

13. He can't disown me because I belong to Him and am a part of Him.

14. He prepares a table before me. Selah

15. He covers me and doesn't expose me.

16. He wrote His loving words down so I’ll never forget how He feels about me.

Now that is love!

Any man who wants pointers on how to love a woman...should study God.

A Christian woman should wake up everyday and thank God for being the best man in her life! When we keep our eyes on Him and focus on how good HE really is, then we are better able to keep our own lives in proper perspective. The faults of our husband will not be so magnified, when we focus on the goodness of our God. It is very difficult to think strong negative thoughts about our lot in life when you are filled with strong positive thoughts that center themselves on Christ.

Hebrews 13:5 "Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."

The Virtue of Strength and Honour

2009-08-01T06:00:00.000-07:00

For the last several months we have been considering the character traits of a true Biblical help meet. My how different she really is, when compared to the women of our day and culture.

One truth has never changed. God still blesses a woman who sees her role as a help meet, to be a DIVINE calling from her Creator.

Men are created to be helpers of God. The representation of God the Father to your family.
The Holy Spirit became a helper to the Son of God, and He intercedes for us. You are a helper to God when you are willing to be a help meet to your husband.

Let’s look at another trait of a woman that God calls “virtuous”. We will cover just one for this month, because I believe that if we can get this one right, it will have an enormous affect on so many of the others.

Trait #16 : “Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.”

This is truly a woman of unshakable character. She is not easily swayed or upset by life’s circumstances that happen around her. Most women today are reactors to everything! It has become normal behavior for most women to take up an offense for another person. We often see this played out with parents and their children. If Johnny get hurts physically or emotionally by someone at school, mom gets emotionally charged up, accuses the other person of mistreating her Johnny, blames the teacher or the principal for not caring about her Johnny, condemns them for being careless in how they are monitoring the bullies at school and threatens to pull her family out of school or church!

This is not the behavior of a virtuous woman with clothing of strength and honour. There is nothing honorable about this kind of reaction.

BUT OFTEN IT DOES NOT END HERE…..

The problem continues to escalate. With her lack of self control and strength of character, she takes those very reactions and influences others with them; thus turning the heart of her husband, children and friends, according to the direction her emotions dictate. Now the entire family is thrown into the abyss of broken relationships and severed unity with others. Satan loves to see these scenarios take place.

A Biblically thinking woman, whose mind is fixed on Christ, will be stedfast and valiant for Truth in her inner being. She will defend and stand for right thinking!

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” Isaiah 26:3

She will not live by impulsiveness or on emotional whims. The strength and honour of her clothing will be seen in her reactions to offenses and the everyday happenings of life that may bring stress and testing.

She is just not blown away by upsetting circumstances around her. The strength and honour of this woman’s character is so refreshing when compared to the desperate housewife mentality that permeates our culture!

But… the best part is yet to come!

The Bible says, “…and she shall rejoice in time to come.” There are wonderful blessings ahead for this virtuous, calm, Biblically thinking woman. Her hard work and good attitude will pay high dividends in the future!

~ She will reap the joys in her children’s’ lives. If a mom will walk in truth and believe God, her children will know how it is done…through her example. “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” III John 4 Show them how to do it! There is no greater joy than to hear your children bless you back, after they are grown and serving the Lord on their own.

~ She will reap her obedience in her own marriage relationship. The beautiful clothing of strength and honour, will be reaped in a strong marriage abounding with love and respect, that binds the two together.

~ She will reap the goodness of God in the sweetness of Christian friendships. The ability to get along with others reflects the emotional stability found in this woman of God. You will enjoy
solid, sweeter friendships when your life is marked by the beautiful clothing of strength and honour.

If you want to be happy later…walk in strength and honour now.

Aspiring To Be A Virtuous Woman

2009-07-01T11:14:00.000-07:00

Trait #9: “She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.”

Traits of a Biblical Woman

2009-06-02T11:29:00.000-07:00

So you aspire to be a Proverbs 31 woman? How well do you know her? How do you envision this good woman? Let's evaluate ourselves against her character qualities.

Trait #1 : "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." Proverbs 31:10 She is obviously seen as extremely rare because there are not many like her. She is far above the usual. Her uniqueness makes her a precious possession to her husband. Is this uncommon trait unique to you?

Trait #2 : "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil." Proverbs 31:11 This trustworthy lady is so reliable, honest and dependable that she would never say or do anything dishonorable behind her husband's back. What a blessed man it is who can safely trust in this faithful, chaste wife. She is far removed from today's modern, cell phone bound, desperate housewife scenario.

Trait #3 : "She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:12
What a loyal, faithful, constant helpmeet this dear woman is to her husband. Her genuine and enduring love for her man is not the hot one day and cold the next, variety. She does him good all the time.

Trait #4 : "She seeketh wool and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands." Proverbs 31:13 This industrious, busy woman is not a lazy female! This willing worker looks for tasks to accomplish that will benefit her family. She is the picture of diligence all wrapped up in a willing spirit.

Trait #5 : "She is like the merchant's ships; she bringeth her food from afar." Proverbs 31:14 This doesn't mean that she is necessarily out running around garage sales and discount stores with her gal pals all the time, but it does mean that she is a frugal, prudent, capable and wise shopper! Her industrious nature is not wasteful with her time or her husband's money. She is definitely looking for a bargain, but she is doing it in a wise and timely way.

Trait #6 : "She riseth also, while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her husband, and a portion to her maidens." Proverbs 31:15 This plan ahead, self-starter riseth and giveth to those around her. This takes a pretty selfless woman to get herself out of bed early to serve her husband and family.

Trait #7 : "She considereth a field and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard." Proverbs 31:16 This enterprising, yet cautious woman is quite resourceful! From this passage we can see that she has an eye for buying property, can plant a cash crop and knows how to multiply her investments. This girl has some entrepreneurial talents that could be the envy of most college business majors! She is not your run of the mill, stay at home mom!

Just in these first seven traits we see a picture of what the Bible calls, a virtuous woman.
How did we do in comparing ourselves to her? Let's give extra attention to developing these traits and next month we will talk about a few more.

If you are a single girl reading this, I encourage you to develop in your character the mindset and abilities of this woman after God's own heart.

Let's strive to mimic this good woman....for the glory of God and for the pleasure of our husband.

Oh, The Feelings We Can Feel!

2009-05-01T08:32:00.000-07:00

Have you ever really listened to a group of women talking and socializing with one another? There is one word that invariably comes up more than any other word. It is used so often and spontaneously, that it is as natural as breathing. It is a word frequently used and fuels the topics of conversation for most women.

The word is, “feel”. “I just feel like she should have....”, “I really feel like he is not....”, “I just feel so....” This is precisely how women, young and old, communicate. Most of a woman’s conversation springs from how she feels about any given subject. There are other times that she may not talk at all; if she isn’t physically well or she doesn’t have an opinion on the subject discussed.

What’s my point? Whether women will admit it or not, most of their opinions are “feelings” motivated! Having a “feeling” about something is not bad in and of itself. A woman’s feelings or premonition have saved many a child from potential harm or injury. That sixth sense, that women seem to have at times, has often been a blessing to her family.

Our adversary, the Devil, that “roaring lion”, knows that a woman intuitively “feels” on a multitude of levels. This becomes a serious problem when we closely examine what we are feeling so opinionated about, why we have that opinion and where it came from. Answering these three questions will clearly prove what kind of woman we really are.

Women speak from their feelings most of the time. Our thoughts are nurtured and fed by our emotions. A woman’s feelings can change in one minute’s time, all because of a new input. It may come from an outside influence or from her own thoughts, and before you know it...BOOM...she is in the pit and out of control or over the moon with joyful elation.

Is this a bad thing? What’s the big deal anyway? It becomes a big deal because we use our feelings to influence others! My friend, it is best that we not underestimate the power of our influence. Take a good look at Eve in the book of Genesis. She is a perfect example of how influence can change a life, a destiny. It only took one voice for her to be persuaded against what her Creator God had already said. With that input, she affected Adam and we all live with the results of that one decision.

Romans 5:12 “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned.”

I think it’s long passed time that women, who call themselves a Christian, start thinking with the mind of Christ.

Philippians 2:5 “Let this mind be in YOU, which was also in Christ Jesus...”

What kind of mind is this? It’s a Biblical mind, a “thinking from the scripture” mind. So few think in this manner. Feelings thinking is the norm and this unbiblical, fleshly thinking is destroying marriages, children and our churches.

Ladies, biblical thinking can keep us from growing into bitter, cranky old women. A woman who really knows God, will know that true spirituality is found only through obeying God’s Word and not when following her own emotional sensibilities.

Your heart attitudes MAKE your life.

Why is this true?

Our Divine Purpose

2009-04-01T06:57:00.000-07:00

Who am I? Why am I here? Dear sister....you are not here by accident. There is a divine purpose for your existence and accepting that purpose will determine whether you will ever really be happy on planet earth.

I read an article a few years back in the USA Today newspaper entitled, “For some moms, home is not at the range”. Humorous though that sounded, the entire article was completely against the scriptural role of the woman and encouraged resistance to traditional thinking on the role of a woman in our culture.

It really doesn’t matter what the culture thinks about a woman’s role. It does matter what God thinks!

The real reason that a woman is supposed to be the keeper of the home is because God appointed that position for her. A biblical wife is to be a helpmate to her husband, a life giver and nurturer to her children and she is the one God designed to be the keeper of the home environment. There is more to this environment than just how it looks!

Today, many young girls have been taught and convinced that their talents are too valuable to be wasted on a man and children, in the confines of the home. They have been taught that they should practice their talents and follow their dreams in the marketplace and be paid for doing it. Someone else nurtures their children as they work to fill their homes with cool gadgets, extra spending money and evenings out shopping. Children are being raised by themselves and by TV, rather than from a real live, loving mother. American families have more of this world’s goods than ever before, but we are very poor in what matters the most. Even so called Christian families, are filled with dysfunction. Moms and Dads alike, are operating outside of their God designed roles and we are paying for it as a nation and as families.

Our Creator has the right to dictate our roles in life. It’s our job to submit ourselves to His plan. Things will go well...if we do.

“But our God is in the heavens; he hath done whatsoever he hath pleased.” Psalm 115:3

“....Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, why hast thou made me thus? Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honor, and another
unto dishonor?” Romans 9:20b-21

“Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.” Romans 13:1

Homemaking, has become a negative word in our society. It conjures up ideas of grueling, repetitious cooking, cleaning and mundane chores in the minds of modern women. Young girls see this kind of life as boring, rather than important work. It’s still God’s plan for a woman’s true happiness.

We will study this further next time...