My Best Gift to Ken

Ephesians 5:21  "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God."

In the context of Scripture, this verse seems plain in stating that both the husband and wife are to be submissive to one another in the marriage relationship, because it is obedience to His Word and in reverence to the Lord.  Yet, the very next verse makes the wife's role even clearer. 

Ephesians 5:22-23  "Wives, submit yourselves unto you own husbands, as unto the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body."

Yes, we are to be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ, but as a wife, we are to be subject not only to Christ, but to our own husband as well.  Submission has become an ugly word in our culture.  No one wants to be submissive or subject to anyone for fear that they will lose control over their own lives and choices.  Submission in Scripture is much different than that.  It really means:  Wives, adapt yourselves to your own husbands.  As the church is subject to Christ,, the wife is to also be subject to their husbands...in everything. We are to adapt ourselves to what is taught and preached in the Lord's church.  That really is not a negative thing.  The husband is commanded to love his wife like Christ loved the church and gave himself for it and the wife is to see that she reverences and respects that husband.  Notice him.  Make him feel that what he says and does really means something to you.  Show him regard.  Listen when he talks.  Look him in the eye and show interest in his thoughts.  Honor him in the manner that you speak back to him...in public and in private. 

I see too many wives who do not honor their husband's thoughts in public. He may walk up while you are in conversation with someone else and you can shun his presence or you can invite him into your conversation.   If it is hard to welcome his thoughts when people are around, what is it like in private?  A man needs to feel valued by his wife.  If a wife shows a lack of interest in her husband's thoughts and ideas, she sends a message of inadequacy to him.  His opinions don't matter.  He will not feel that she prefers him to others.  This is the best way to tear down his manhood.  Praise him and admire him exceedingly!   Make sure your respect for him is seen and heard by others.  A man needs to know that he is worthwhile and valued by his wife.  At the same time, a man needs to enter your conversation with others, in a respectful manner.  It is never right to be rude.   Make him feel welcome to step in and in turn he will treat you with the love you desire.

A note to single girls.....If you are interested in a young man who has characteristics and behaviors that annoy you or seem obnoxious to you....DO NOT MARRY THE MAN.  It is so important to feel that you can honestly respect and honor the man you choose to marry. Does he exercise self-control in his personal life?   You marry a man's character!  You will live with that the rest of your life.   If you are already married to a man that you struggle to respect and honor, ask the Lord to tenderize your heart toward your man.  Pray for him.  God has asked us as wives to do only one thing for our husband.  That is to reverence him by our submission to him.  Give him the gift of submission.  This is an attitude grounded in respect and your willingness to adapt yourself to him. 

Submission does not mean the wife is inferior or that the husband has the right to demand obedience or lord over her.  This is all about two spouses giving a gift to the other.  When the wife adapts herself to her husband in order to meet his needs and to show her reverence and respect for him, she is opening the blessing gate of heaven on her marriage relationship.  If she can look at her husband with eyes of reverence and respect....that husband becomes a King among men.  They BOTH are blessed because she gives him the position of respect and he gives her a place of honor  and she feels loved.

The more you please your husband....the more he will try to please you.  The more he attempts to please you...the happier you will become.   This is when true love  in a relationship just FEELS GOOD!  The home is at peace because the people living in it are at peace with each other......and God.