A Biblical Helpmeet Learns to Pray and Trust God

Written by Lynette VanInwegen

My husband and I have known for about three years that he was unsaved. During that time, our marriage went down hill dramatically. Our relationship became increasingly more difficult as our spirits fought against each other. I went through some very hard, faith testing things during this time. I found myself in the midst of trials I never dreamed I would have to face. I wish I could say that through them my faith in God was unwavering, but that was not the case. There were so many times through this journey toward my husband’s salvation that I wanted to quit. I was weary of the struggle, the hurt, and the pain that I felt I could not endure it any longer. I wanted to walk away! I know that I would have, if I had not had my Mom and Pastor & Mrs. Shaffer standing by my side, encouraging me to endure hardness by faith in the Lord. Many times I would run to my Mom and pour out my heart to her, complete with all the hurt, anger, frustration, and despair that I was feeling at the time. She would love on me and then point me back to the Lord. She always said
that we just have to trust the Lord. He is in control of this and knows what is best for us. She reminded me that He will not give us more than we can handle.

Pastor and Mrs. Shaffer were faithful counselors to me during this time. I am so thankful for the hours that they spent trying to help me. Mrs. Shaffer, you especially were such a friend to me. You told me the hard things I needed to hear that caused me to look at myself and question the thoughts in my heart that were not right. I know I have entertained the thought before that you wouldn’t understand because you had never been
through the situation I was going through. But I learned that situations can be as different as night and day, but the feelings and despair we feel in those situations are the same no matter who we are and the Bible has
the answer for every one of them. Mrs. Shaffer has been through times when all she could do was trust the Lord and pray. That was where I was. No matter the details of a given situation, all I needed to do was
trust the Lord and pray that He would do what was best for me. Letting go of my own reasoning and completely relying on my God …by faith in the Lord, was the hard part. I appreciate the hard things she shared with me. I did not always like what she told me because it meant that I needed to change my heart and give up the hurt that I was feeling. I would leave from talking with her, faced with a decision. Would I accept what I knew was Biblically right or would I harden my heart to the Godly council I had been given?

Through my tough time, my one heart’s desire was to never harden my heart to the Lord. Many times I didn’t want to do what the Lord wanted me to do, but because I wanted His blessing on my life more than anything, I tried to put to practice in my home the council I was given. I always saw how the Lord blessed me abundantly when I did!!

When I look back now on that terribly dark time of struggle in my marriage, there are two things that stand out that the Lord taught me. These were the hardest lessons for me to learn and I felt like I was learning them again almost every day. Sometimes I had to remind myself of them more than once a day.

1. I cannot live without His Word.

During the last six months especially, God’s Word has become more real and alive to me than at any other time in my life. I have found precious comfort in the simple Word of God. The book of Psalms is very special to me. It is amazing to me that the words that King David penned thousands of years ago, speaks to my heart today, even though my circumstances are very different than his were at the time. God’s Word has been my comfort and strength during times of difficulty and hopelessness. When my heart was breaking, my emotions were all spent, and my strength was all gone, I knew I could go to the Lord and His Word and He would always be there with just the words to strengthen me. He truly is all I need! I want to share with you some of the verses that encouraged me so much during these times. Each night as I went to His Word in my devotions, I felt as though the Lord would pick me up and put me in his lap, just like a Father, and He would strengthen me again.

“I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.” Psalm 27:13,14

There were days when I had to quote verse 14 to myself many times just to keep my thinking right. The Word of God became my weapon against despondency and giving up.

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. The Lord is their strength and he is the saving strength of his anointed.” Psalm  28:7,8”

“The Lord redeemeth the soul of his servants: and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate.” Psalm 34:22

“I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:3

“For in thee, O Lord, do I hope; thou wilt hear, O Lord my God.” Psalm 38:15

During my times of despair, God’s Word so gently reminded me that I was not trusting in Him. Many of these verses show the great promises for those that will completely trust in Him. We either trust the Lord or we don’t. It is that simple.

I knew that I had to make that choice to trust Him- no matter the outcome or trials I would face.

I remember one time I came to a crossroad and was faced with this decision. I had talked with Mrs. Shaffer and left knowing I had only these two choices in front of me: I would either fully trust God, or give up on everything…My home, my family, my marriage, my service for the Lord---everything! It was a very serious time for me. I remember crying a lot and I remember the battle going on inside of me. Being human I didn’t want to be hurt anymore. I wanted my trial to end. When I did my devotions that night I asked the Lord to show me something that would give me the strength to go on. Here is the answer I got: Psalm 32:7-10

“Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah. I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with
mine eye.”

The Lord said, ‘You don’t have to know what the future holds. It may be scary and very uncertain, but you can trust Me to show you each step to take’.

“Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee. Many sorrows shall be to the wicked: but he that trusteth in the Lord, mercy shall compass him about.” Psalm 32:7-10

I knew after reading these last two verses that if I did not submit my will to the Lord and trust him that many sorrows would follow me. I am happy to say that I chose to submit to Him that night and He gave me the assurance once again, that He would take care of me. I knew that He would give me the strength to go on. He is truly all I need!!

Something else I learned….

2. I can’t live without His hand of blessing on my life, nor do I want to.

There were more times than I like to admit that I wanted to give up while waiting for a change in my husband and my marriage. I grew weary of the struggle often and was tempted to walk away from it all. So many times, I would come to this place and the Devil would say…’nothing is ever going to change. Just give up’. My Mom told me “Don’t give up! What if you give up today and tomorrow is the day the Lord answers
our prayers?” I remember the weekend before my husband’s salvation that I came to this place and the Devil tempted me to quit. He convinced me I could not go any further. I talked to my Mom again. The Shaffers
were in South Africa and I did not have them to run to. I counseled with my parents but my heart was not at peace. All I had was the Lord. I remember going to my Heavenly Father that night and asking for something from His Word. Like the Lord always does, He gave me this scripture. It told me that He had compassion for my weakness and despair and that there was HOPE in Him.

Lamentations  3:18-26 “And I said, My strength and my hope is perished from the Lord: Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall. My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me. This I recall to my mind, THEREFORE HAVE I HOPE. It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.

They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.”

The Lord does not seek to destroy his own. He has compassion for our trials.

Lamentations 3:31-34  “For the Lord will not cast off for ever: But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies. For he doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men. To crush under his feet all the prisoners of the earth,”

That night I saw the goodness of the Lord again and how he wanted to strengthen my faith through this trial….

Lamentations 3:55-57 “I called upon thy name, O Lord, out of the low dungeon. Thou hast heard my voice: hide not thine ear at my breathing, at my cry.”

His answer: “Thou drewest near in the day that I called upon thee: thou saidist, FEAR NOT.”

Through the Word of God, my soul was helped and strengthened! There truly is power in the Word of God if we will take heed to it when it’s preached and shared.

God then did what only God can do! He saved my husband by His grace that very next Sunday!! I am convinced that if I had given up and not submitted myself to the Lord, He would have lifted his hand of blessing on my life and my husband would not have been saved!! Our home and marriage would have dissolved. God intervened in my home and my marriage and has given me a new man for a husband!

In every circumstance of our lives, these two truths will apply. We cannot live without the Word of God -- daily in our lives and we cannot live without His blessing on our lives. Access to His blessing comes only from trusting Him and submitting to His will.

Through this time of trial, the Lord has become my best friend, my comfort, my strength, and His Word is my life-line!! These words from a song come to mind. This is how I feel about the Lord!

“It’s such a privilege to know the Lord. It’s such a treasure to have His Holy Word. Lord, don’t let me lose sight of the wonder or take it for granted anymore. It’s such a privilege to know the Lord.”

God has also changed me through my trial. For any trial you are facing remember this quote: “Be faithful and patient knowing that while you are trusting God for a change (whatever that change may be for you), He will change you to live well within it until the time comes for your miracle!”

He gave me my miracle and I praise Him for it! We don’t have to live defeated Christian lives because of the trails we are facing. Because we are human, we will have times of discouragement and despair, but we don’t have to live there or stay there. The Devil will always try to bring us down in our weak times, but ‘Greater is He that is in me than He that is in the World’.

“He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.” Psalm 62:6